It can be hard to tell those words. Sometimes it might be dangerous too. And the world seems to deteriorate beside us. And we risk to mingle with it and perish. And so we write it down. Like having a point. Like showing proof. Like a confession. And we do not understand how that fragile us. Because Love doesn’t have a point. It doesn’t prove anything. And it surely doesn’t need a confession. Because Love is. And Love will. Be all. It takes. To be.
I can already see you. There’s no denying . You seem so clear to me now. I still cannot believe how I did not see you before. Because you are right in front of me. No hiding. Nothing but you. Evident. And clear.
This bed feels so lonely without you here. It’s infinite. Emptiness below these sheets. All over this body. I feel trapped when I cannot touch you. It feels like your absence is a punishment. Like I don’t truly deserve you. So when you are gone I miss you. Terribly. Like a drug. I need you in a way that will never make sense. But it is the only way I can seem to fit around this silly life of my own. With you. Sooner or later. With you. Near or far. With you. Always. Because without you I cease to be. The person I am today. Right or wrong. Flawed and perfect. To you I am. Here. Alone.
Note: Image by ~ejan.
In life you can do things. Actually you can do many infinite things. So you can be anything. Seriously. You can. But never forget that you can also be what you’re not. So from time to time stop. Just stop. And check your own reflection. And see if you recognize yourself. Because you can be everything but not everything is you. And the ones you love are not really chosen by neither of you. So don’t push it too hard. Because if you love you will be yourself. No matter what.
But like most things in life you can be in that moment the better version of yourself. So love the ones who love you. Deeply. Follow them even when you don’t want to. Because you’ll never stop being yourself. Remember this. And maybe you’ll find a new you. Closer to the truth. Which you will never truly find. If you are lucky enough you might sense it. You might even touch it. But you’ll never be it. Because you can be everything at the same time. Every single choice in every single moment.
And you’ll doubt yourself and the one’s you cherish. And you’ll once again deviate from the person you are. And you’ll hurt people. And you’ll know it. But you won’t stop. You just go with your needing and do whatever you can to escape from that pain. And many will disappear behind you. Most of them actually. And then you’ll find yourself lost. Again and again. So remember this. The ones who love you will be near enough. You just have to raise your hand a bit. And they’ll be there for you. Always.
Most people don’t even realise until it’s too late who these persons are. Most of us get stuck in this illusion of having many caring friends. But no. They are only a few. Probably less then what you are thinking. And probably some of them are already gone too. And you become weaker when they perish. And you know it. And you miss them oh so fucking much. And you know it. So don’t choose to treat the ones around like you don’t love them. Because you do. Lucky you.
The notion that you can be everything there’s left for me to embrace is as pure as puissant. Like a kick in the stomach. You can make me crawl. And that’s life. Which gives you the power to give life. To me. But also to kill it. Without even trying. And we both know just how deep we’ve gone. In each other. And that’s as dangerous as blissful. And I’m truly thankful that I’m fortunate enough to be part of your path. As you’re part of mine. And I’m also pretty sure that many times our paths intertwine. And it keeps getting harder and harder to separate them. ‘Cos we’re stronger. Together. And I cannot wait for the day we don’t have to divide. Not anymore. Even if just for the tiniest brief moment. ‘Cos we’re already one. And I don’t like this empty feeling of being just half of me. So make it soon. My love. And let us be.
Because the second you decide to do it you will be lost. Because our minds and our bodies cannot live without the warmness of love. And you will perish. Maybe not now. Maybe not tomorrow. But you will perish if you don’t feel love in any way. Any word. Any hand. Any day. You might think otherwise now but don’t let the ego fool you. Because you will soon reach a point where you won’t be able to breathe. And it will eat you from inside. With ease. So free yourself and feel it. In the smallest details. In the smallest gesture. You will find it. And if you are faithful to his way you will always be cherished. Always.
Note: Photography taken at the Louvre Museum’s Gardens, Paris.
I truly don’t know what to write. What can I say? What can I add? When does it become worth to live something and write about it? How much do I have to laugh or cry to make something worthwhile? Well, let me tell you, I had a wonderful weekend.
And no matter what I write now will it ever be fair to what it meant. It was something I wished long ago but sometimes the monsters inside you are so much threatening then the real ones that you keep living full of fear. And what’s that if you lose your beloved ones? What’s the point of living a fearful life if that makes you lose the ones you care about? What’s the point of never saying what you feel? Of being afraid of rejection? Of being afraid of other’s judgment?
You must know that if you are a good person and if you take care of your close ones all those monsters will easily perish. You just have to make the first step. The first decision. The one who will make you truthful to yourself. And everyone who truly matters and everyone who loves you will embrace every little bit of you protecting you from all those monsters.
And you must also know that when a monster cannot harm a person he will soon give up. And will disappear far away from you. Ashamed of all his anger. And you will be surrounded by those who do know you. Those who see you completely. And love you. And cherish being with you. And so you will become the luckiest one. No fears. No monsters. Only love. And a life full of it.
What can you do but ride your bicycle? All over again. Contemplating the seaside. Feeling the wind in your body while thinking of you. What more can one do but ride faster? Getting that notion that if you are fast enough you will escape from this world. And leave everyone behind. And it won’t truly matter. You just need your flowing hair. And the memory of the person. Beside me. Laughing at each other because we are children once again. And everything is simple. And pure. And we do realize we have eternity in front of us. We just need to keep moving. As we do.
Because sometimes there’s a song that says it all, oh so easily:
Right from the start
You were old love
Like we’ve never been parted
You kissed me
Your hands down my side to my hips
Still shivers inside
All the breathing
From your mouth through mine
About how long
There’s hunger for one more time
Lover of mine when i kissed you
I felt so good tell this tale to me
Well I won’t believe
That I’m already here
(Ane Brun‘s Oh Love)